Good Mom Bad Mom, etc, etc

Yesterday and this evening were quite possibly the hardest moments I have ever had as a mother. Situation: Since about 2 am Saturday, I and both of my children were sick with fevers, nausea, vomiting, and Alex has a nasty head and chest cold on top of his fever etc. This all equals no sleep for anyone (including my wonderful husband who did all he could to help until school started yesterday after a blissful 3 week break). So, all of this added up equals bad scary tired frusturated evil mean sad losing it mom. Here are my thoughts on this experience (that still may not be over by the way). :o)

My thoughts tonight were:
Frusturated Worn Out and Ready to Give Up and Say, "It isn't worth it."

While sitting and pondering over those thoughts, they are slowly changing to:
Gratitude for~
1) People who call at just exactly the right moment:
The first was my sister-in-law Christina. I was really excited to talk to her and as the day went on I was becoming discouraged that when she called I would yet again, be busy calming a crying child, in the bathroom, or some other fun thing that you do when you are sick and you have sick kids . . . but no, she called at just exactly the right time and we were able to have a fun uninterrupted conversation for an entire 20 minutes that left me feeling light and happy and able to carry on through the afternoon. Those were the only 20 minutes of the day that both kids were sleeping too. Miracle.
The second was my dear friend and neighbor Nicole. It was about 5:30 pm and I had just carried a screaming Alex up the stairs while also holding Rebekah and was trying my best to help him while Rebekah was also screaming, blah blah blah. At that point, I really thought it was the end of me. Nicole called just then, and I just answered in a dead voice, "Hi Nicole." She immediately said, "Oh, Heidi are you okay?" I burst into tears. She let me cry, we talked a little and the next thing I knew I heard Steve (her hubby) outside our house shoveling our driveway. This miracle was the miracle of angels that Heavenly Father sends us in our time of need.

2)A Husband Who Loves His Family
Joseph came home and was patient and kind and gentle. The first thing he said was, "what can I do?" Last night he slept on the floor in Alex's room with Rebekah in her bassinett and woke up to feed her and I slept with Alex in our bed. He did this even though he knew that he would have to wake up around 4 am to feed her and then stay up so he could be to the law school on time and then have to be there until around 9 pm. Thanks Babe.

3) Opportunities to Serve When You are the One Who Wants to be Served
Tonight as I was trying to get Alex to eat something and Rebekah was screaming again because she was way overtired, I got a call from my dear friend and she was just crying and crying because she was in severe pain. She called because she needed a priesthood blessing immediately and didn't know who else to call since she doesn't live in Iowa City, but is here only for special treatments. I, in that moment, felt so humbled. Mine is not the hardest situation. There is always someone else we can serve and lift. I couldn't give the blessing, but I knew who to call. I hope I helped her in her time of need.

4) My two healthy (well not now, but in general :o)) children. How grateful I am for them. They are my little angels and though I questioned more than once between today and yesterday if it is all really worth it, I answer with an astounding, yes! It is!

It is in those quiet moments that you really realize how very special these little spirits are. They are the closest to Heaven we may ever feel while here on earth. Cherish them while they are little even in the hard moments.

To prove I love my kids after revealing how easily I can lose it, I will add some pictures to this post tomorrow with updates from our Christmas break. :o) For now, I need to go to bed.
(Oh, and you know it's bad, when you are putting your two year old to bed and he says, "Mommy you are driving me CRAZY!" :o) Oops. :o)